She Won't Fall, Not this Time.

She was a chameleon. She liked to think of herself as a survivor. Melding into her surroundings was her only survival tactic. She figured, she knew how to live, but was she really alive?
No, she was hiding from life. Dodging the downs, veering away from the obstacles. Was that really how she wanted to spend her days?

I'm not dead. I have to live this way. What other choice do I have? I'm not a coward. I am smart. It's called avoiding conflict so you can grow in peace. 

She was arguing with herself again. Creating justifications in her head to support her actions. This wasn't the first time either. Did this actually mean she was at fault? Don't they say, the more you try to defend yourself, the more guilty you are?
No.
She wasn't going to go down that dark alley again. She wasn't going to let the voice inside get a grip on her. Not ever again. She knew better than to put herself down, especially when there were already enough people to do that for her.
She was determined to smile, determined to dream, hope, imagine, feel everything to the fullest, embrace life, breathe with purpose. How could she do all that if she didn't have the courage to ignore the ugliness?
She knew there was so much more to life. So much more to see than a fly on her bedroom wall. She no longer blankly stared at her ceiling, searching for answers where none could be found. Instead, her gaze shifted to her window, where the view was ever-changing, the trees gently encouraged her to dance in the wind just like the leaves did.

It would all pay off soon. All of her patience would soon set her free, all her silent pleas would soon be heard. She was more than certain everything would fall right into place. Why wouldn't it? God was watching here, mentoring her, caring for her all this time. It was impossible to fail, impossible to loose hope when God  is limitless hope Himself.

Where there is hope, there is God,
Where there is God, there is everything.